In my manic dash to make up for lost time, I have allowed myself a few moments' guilty pleasure.
Met with a good friend last night for java ... actually, as the fates would have it we were in the right place at the same time. Anyhow, spent the first few minutes in a bit of awkward silence ... guess one could consider it a strange reflection of the past few weeks of non-communication. But the interest and sarcasm were alive and well. We talked and laughed once the thaw was complete. And it was so nice to be able to laugh comfortably ... no expectations, no guidelines ... just conversation and java in the company of someone whom I have known for quite some time. Course there are other factors at play here, but this is neither the moment nor medium for That discussion.
So odd how dreams morph fluidly into expectations and then seem to squirm uncomfortably into the guise of reality ... especially when one is ill-prepared to witness the troubling transformation. Course, that generally happens when actuality does the situation no justice at all. But that is neither here nor there either. Where was I?
Suffice to say that I have always felt a kind of kinship to this individual and we have always been able to speak on the same level with nearly identical interests and backgrounds. Difficult to find in this part of the woods really. To make obscure references to British comedy and things, knowing no explanation is necessary b/c the other one will get the joke was really cool. Being able to be sarcastic, deadpan, etc. and never missing a beat. I don't know where this is going. Guess I felt obliged to include a few comments about that. I'm done now. On to other things.
With newfound awareness comes a renewed interest in those things for which I have unfortunately long neglected. For example, my fiction writing.
For a few months now I have been working on a short short that a dear friend is anxiously waiting to read. As is the case with any writer, no piece is ever truly finished, though I have set myself a deadline ... steadfast deadline ... of this week to finish the piece and get it in the hands of my fellow java junkie. With any hope ... er, luck, he will read it and still want to meet for coffee on occasion. Not only is there contest deadline creeping up in the background, it feels really good to be able to sit down at the computer and type away without the heaviness of masochistic tendencies weighing about my shoulders ... I know that I am clinging to that phrase for some unfortunate reason. Guess it seems to fit at the moment. I have discovered that many of our life's lessons are rooted in self-loathing at times that we allow to unnecessarily cause pain. But that is another story. This is not the time for depression, oppression, or other ill-timed discussions. Anyway ....
Yes, I am working to finish the piece and with any luck, there will be many to follow. Who knows, I just may publish some excerpts here. Maybe.
Until later. I have much writing to tend to.